$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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