You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
