I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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