How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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