The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
