If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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