North Korea, Best Korea!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
