The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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