The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Randomize
