If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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