Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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