you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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