Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
