Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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