her vagine was all disorganized.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
