Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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