It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
