i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
