No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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