Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
