How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
