hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize