it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
