I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
