things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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