You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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