Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
