Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
