$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
His nipple licking is glorious
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