i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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