it wasn't lemon gatorade
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize