Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
