i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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