Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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