Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize