just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
