I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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