The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
