I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
