party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
