Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
