He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
