this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
