Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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