can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
