im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
