I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize