If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
