I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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