Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
