You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
