He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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