Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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