I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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