I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
