Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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