I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize