i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
