It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
