she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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