The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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