I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
