we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
