I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize