M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
