is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize