Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
