I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
