Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Randomize