I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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