census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
