I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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