you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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