just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
