Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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