xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
false alarm, still single
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